I Hope You Dance

This has proved to be a difficult post. I was planning on it being a piece about the kid's gymnastic and dance skills but as I wrote I realized how closely this is tied into some of the darkest periods of our lives. I won't touch too much on the grief I experienced, that we all experienced during this time, but it felt disingenuous to leave these events out. Especially when it comes to Nikki, who loved dance so much.

Bunny Hop Dance
From left to right - Jimmy, Brandon, Cody, Lindsey, Amy, Bethany, Nikki, Callie, Josh, Jonathan

Back in 1994, when all the kids were very young, I decided to sign them up for dance classes to help develop their motor functions and muscle tone, as well as build their confidence. They dearly love to dance and show off so I knew it would be a really great activity for them. They started out taking tap dancing lessons at our local Parks & Rec. Their first performance was a tap dance to "The Bunny Hop" for a local special needs event. They were all so tiny and adorably awkward, but they performed with pride and it was an amazing first step for them.

Shortly after this I heard of a local dance studio called "Tumble n' Dance" owned by a woman named April Jackson, who also happened to be a special ed teacher! We approached her about starting a dance class for our children, she not only readily agreed but she made it incredibly affordable for us as well. We started out with a few different classes, tap, jazz, etc. but the kids quickly found their niche in gymnastics. Our son Jonathan was seven and had been fighting leukemia for four years. He loved going to the classes and went as often as his exhausted little body would allow, on days he couldn't participate he would happily watch his brothers and sisters and cheer on their progress. 

JonBoy with his favorite Pooh Bear.

Their first performance was in the Spring of '94, our Jonboy was too weak to perform but enjoyed watching. We had high hopes that he would feel better enough to perform the next year. Unfortunately that wasn't the case. Jonathan's cancer went out of remission and he went home to be with his heavenly father in spring of '95, just a week or two before the performance. I was heartbroken and didn't want to go through with it. How can they dance without their biggest fan in the audience, cheering them on? I told April this and she said I needed to do it, our other children had worked so hard on their performance and were proud of all the progress they had made. I knew she was right, so with a heavy heart I agreed and the show tearfully went on. After this it became difficult to take them to their weekly classes, the grief was crippling. But as they say, you have to do what you have to do. So we carried on.  

The great joy they found in dancing always helped to lift my spirits.

Their skills continued to improve over the next few years and when the dance recitals came around they would excitedly dress up in their glittery outfits and strut their stuff. The big showy dances on stages lit with professional lighting were not the only performances they would put on. Pretty soon Bethany and her best friend Mischa were organizing dances in the basement, complete with flyers taped up around the house and hand-made tickets sold for a dollar a piece.

Nikki especially loved performance time. Her normally shy nature would disappear and she would shine on stage, proudly performing every dance move and helping the other children if they forgot something. In 1998 tragedy struck our family again and Nikki passed away suddenly, once again just a few weeks before her treasured dance recital. This time I really knew I couldn't do it. She was the joy of my life, my helper, my little mommy. And suddenly she was gone. She was supposed to be in this dance, had already been fitted for her costume, which she was so incredibly proud of. I broke down and told April I couldn't do it, I'm not strong enough. April said, "I loved Nikki too. I love all of your kids. You have to do this." Looking back I don't know how I managed to get through it. I felt like a robot, just going through the motions because it had to be done. I stood backstage and cried through their dance. Then I cried even more when April and another teacher came out on stage and danced a beautiful ballet number to Eric Clapton's, "Tears in Heaven" that they dedicated to Nikki. To this day, every time their performance comes around I think of my shy little dance star, who cherished these moments with all her heart. 

Sweet Caroline (Nikki)

I will forever be grateful to Tumble 'n Dance, and especially to April for her loyalty and determination all these years, pushing my kids to reach their full potential. She never gave up and she persuaded me to persevere through the most difficult days of my life.

                      

It has been nineteen years since they strapped on their tiny little tap shoes for the Bunny Hop. Despite the sadness associated with it, I am so happy I got them involved in this. The progress they have made is astounding and I am proud of their drive and determination. No matter how frustrated they sometimes get, they never give up and have exceeded every expectation. They continue to amaze me in every way.

Here is a slideshow of their Gynmnastic Tricks

Gymnastic

And this is a dance Bethany choreographed about five years ago.

Enjoy!