Compassionate Hearts

Colossians 3:12

Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. 

One of the things I've been so amazed about in our family is the incredible amount of compassion and empathy I see in our children every day. They've always watched out for and gone above and beyond to care for one another. There have been many days where one of the kids will be helped or carried in by their siblings with a minor injury. The scraped elbow or knee is then lovingly cleaned and bandaged by one of the older kids, while the rest crowd around and the injured child enjoys all of the extra attention! When snack time comes they never fight over who gets their's first, in fact many of them make it a priority to ensure nobody is left out. Emily was chastised the other day for leaving the kitchen with two snacks instead of one, until we realized she was getting the second one for Jimmy, who is non-verbal and can't ask for his own. Emily decided a few years ago, completely on her own, to take Jimmy under her wing. She helps pick his clothes out after his bath, makes sure comes to the dining room when it's time to eat, even wipes his face for him when it gets dirty. She doesn't do it for any kind of reward, or attention, she just saw a need and took it upon herself to be a servant. 

Emily helping Jimmy get his pajamas on. 

They also love to spontaneously make birthday and "feel better" cards for each other. When Nikki was with us she would make birthday hats, out of as many different colors of construction paper she could find, for everyone to wear during the birthday celebration. Usually just cake, candles, ice cream, birthday song and opening presents. Because of our hectic schedule we rarely celebrate on their actual birthday, but they don't mind and are so patient about it. They know it will happen eventually and seem to enjoy the anticipation of it almost as much. Whenever one party is over they ask "who's next??" and love reminding that person and counting down to the day. 

One of Nikki's birthday hats.

Many cards have been bestowed upon me over the years. Just recently, when I was sick, Cody approached me with a picture he had drawn of me, when I asked him what it was for he said, "Mommy get better". Another day, after a horrible night of insomnia, I was feeling so bad that I broke down crying in the kitchen. About fifteen minutes later Noah approached me with a card. When dad asked what it was for he said "Mom cried". This reminded me of another card Noah had given me, back in June, when my Dad was in hospice. It had a picture of Grandad on one side with flowers, a cross and a rainbow. There on the other side he drew Jon Boy and Nikki. He said it was a picture of them all in heaven. I broke down when I saw it, but Noah was right, and my Dad went to be with them soon after. They can always sense when I am having a rough day and will try anything they can to make it a little bit brighter. 

Cody waiting patiently on the porch for Amy to get home so he can give her the birthday card he made. 

I remember when Jonathan was sick and people would fawn over him and give him extra attention because of his Cancer and dynamic personality. JonBoy would smile brightly up at them and start deferring attention to his brothers and sisters, pointing them out one by one, "There's Amy" and "There's Jimmy". He would even be sure to spread the love to his favorite Winnie the Pooh toys, which he always had piled around him. He had such a beautiful and loving spirit. When he lost his battle with Leukemia I was a wreck. Evenings were the worst, and whenever I would break down Nikki would come curl up on my lap and hug me. She'd turn back to her concerned siblings and explain, "Mom cry. JonBoy died." 

JonBoy shares stories of the Hundred Acre Wood with Emily

Joshua surrounds his little brother with his best friends.

Showing off Tigger.

I know they don't completely comprehend what death means, just that someone went away and won't be coming back. Just a few days ago I got a call from an old friend I hadn't spoken to in a long time. Her name is Nicky, we actually named our Nikki after her. Cody heard me greet her when I picked up the phone "Hi Nicky!" He then excitedly turned to Bethany and said, "Mom talk to Nikki!" When Bethany didn't understand, he said "Mom talk to Nikki and JonBoy!" They are always so happy and seem to not have a care in the world most days, then moments like this catch me off guard and I wonder how much the grief of losing Nikki and Jonathan truly affected them, how it continues to affect them. 

Hair braiding time.

Our little mommy. 

Nikki loved being a helper. 

All children, special needs or not, have the ability to love, care for and empathize with others. We try to teach our children these traits through example and with high expectations and consistency. I have come to realize over the years that the children we adopted at birth display these characteristics much more than those we adopted at an older age. We believe the first few years of a child's life are so important for building a strong and healthy character, and that the golden rule "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" is not beyond anyone's comprehension. 

Welcoming Jonboy home from the hospital. 

 I want to send out a huge "Thank You" to those of you who got through all of this, it was supposed to be a "short piece" and I may have gotten a little carried away! I just love having this platform from which I can share our stories. I am thankful to each and every one of you who "liked" our Facebook page and are willing to take a few minutes of your day to read our posts. If anyone has any questions or blog suggestions, we'd love to hear them. Please feel free to comment here, or on our Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/28Blessings.

Rolling and Bowling

We try to find a variety of activities for the kids to enjoy apart from their usual routine of Special Olympics and dance class, lately a few opportunities have arisen. We came across a new adventure in the local paper, a place called "Fun Galaxy", where kids can skate, play arcade games, order food, even ride a mechanical bull! It's been years since they have skated, they used to go weekly with Parks and Rec until the skating rink ended that program. That was back in the nineties, so they were a bit rusty at first. There was a lot of slipping and flailing about, but I was surprised how quickly some of them picked it back up! We were only there an hour or two but by the end of it most were spinning around like pros, even adding in their own dance moves in the mix!

Cody singing into his mic!

Flying Amy

Callie gettin' down!

Others slowly became more comfortable and I'm sure with each visit they will improve. It seemed to be very therapeutic for Lindsey, who has become more and more reclusive these past couple of years(we're looking into why). The first time she went out she became frightened and wanted to stop. So we took her back to sit at a table. However, after a few minutes watching her siblings go round and round, she got up and slowly made her way across the carpet to the edge of the rink. Her big sister, Bethany, asked if she wanted to try again and held out her hands. She was very reluctant at first and could barely stand up on the skates, but after a few laps around, clinging to Bethany, she slowly began to pick it back up. By the end all she needed was a guiding hand, and the joy and confidence this brought her shone through. Moments like these are worth all the work it takes to get everyone up, ready and out the door. I can't wait to take them back again!

Lindsey gaining confidence

Amy helps Cody up after a fall.

Always taking care of one another

Cheers!

Another activity the kids love is bowling. They used to go on a weekly basis through Parks and Rec as well but when, for economical reasons, they had to add an age restriction that would exclude more than half of the kids, I didn't feel right only sending a few of them when they all enjoyed it so much. So I was excited when a woman at a fall festival last October handed me a stack of free bowling tickets. We finally put them to use last week and everyone had a blast!

They picked back up on it really quickly, we don't even have to remind them when it's their turn or how many turns they get, they usually end up reminding us! Many of them already had bowling shoes I'd found online (online shopping is a Godsend) so we only had to rent six pairs and I'm hoping that by next time I'll have a pair for everyone. We want to start taking them regularly on Monday nights, when they can bowl for just a dollar a piece! 

Outings like this are always a blast and just reinforce how amazing these kids are. They don't allow themselves to be hindered by their disabilities, neither physically or emotionally. Even the most competitive among them, are humble(ish) winners and gracious losers. No matter what the outcome they just smile and say "That was fun!!"

The winner, Noah, takes his bow!

We can all learn a lesson from them, to just enjoy life for what is. Live in the moment and choose to be happy, no matter if you are winning or losing, skating flawlessly or falling on your bum. 

Laugh it off, pick yourself back up, and try again. 

Jumping for joy!

I Hope You Dance

This has proved to be a difficult post. I was planning on it being a piece about the kid's gymnastic and dance skills but as I wrote I realized how closely this is tied into some of the darkest periods of our lives. I won't touch too much on the grief I experienced, that we all experienced during this time, but it felt disingenuous to leave these events out. Especially when it comes to Nikki, who loved dance so much.

Bunny Hop Dance
From left to right - Jimmy, Brandon, Cody, Lindsey, Amy, Bethany, Nikki, Callie, Josh, Jonathan

Back in 1994, when all the kids were very young, I decided to sign them up for dance classes to help develop their motor functions and muscle tone, as well as build their confidence. They dearly love to dance and show off so I knew it would be a really great activity for them. They started out taking tap dancing lessons at our local Parks & Rec. Their first performance was a tap dance to "The Bunny Hop" for a local special needs event. They were all so tiny and adorably awkward, but they performed with pride and it was an amazing first step for them.

Shortly after this I heard of a local dance studio called "Tumble n' Dance" owned by a woman named April Jackson, who also happened to be a special ed teacher! We approached her about starting a dance class for our children, she not only readily agreed but she made it incredibly affordable for us as well. We started out with a few different classes, tap, jazz, etc. but the kids quickly found their niche in gymnastics. Our son Jonathan was seven and had been fighting leukemia for four years. He loved going to the classes and went as often as his exhausted little body would allow, on days he couldn't participate he would happily watch his brothers and sisters and cheer on their progress. 

JonBoy with his favorite Pooh Bear.

Their first performance was in the Spring of '94, our Jonboy was too weak to perform but enjoyed watching. We had high hopes that he would feel better enough to perform the next year. Unfortunately that wasn't the case. Jonathan's cancer went out of remission and he went home to be with his heavenly father in spring of '95, just a week or two before the performance. I was heartbroken and didn't want to go through with it. How can they dance without their biggest fan in the audience, cheering them on? I told April this and she said I needed to do it, our other children had worked so hard on their performance and were proud of all the progress they had made. I knew she was right, so with a heavy heart I agreed and the show tearfully went on. After this it became difficult to take them to their weekly classes, the grief was crippling. But as they say, you have to do what you have to do. So we carried on.  

The great joy they found in dancing always helped to lift my spirits.

Their skills continued to improve over the next few years and when the dance recitals came around they would excitedly dress up in their glittery outfits and strut their stuff. The big showy dances on stages lit with professional lighting were not the only performances they would put on. Pretty soon Bethany and her best friend Mischa were organizing dances in the basement, complete with flyers taped up around the house and hand-made tickets sold for a dollar a piece.

Nikki especially loved performance time. Her normally shy nature would disappear and she would shine on stage, proudly performing every dance move and helping the other children if they forgot something. In 1998 tragedy struck our family again and Nikki passed away suddenly, once again just a few weeks before her treasured dance recital. This time I really knew I couldn't do it. She was the joy of my life, my helper, my little mommy. And suddenly she was gone. She was supposed to be in this dance, had already been fitted for her costume, which she was so incredibly proud of. I broke down and told April I couldn't do it, I'm not strong enough. April said, "I loved Nikki too. I love all of your kids. You have to do this." Looking back I don't know how I managed to get through it. I felt like a robot, just going through the motions because it had to be done. I stood backstage and cried through their dance. Then I cried even more when April and another teacher came out on stage and danced a beautiful ballet number to Eric Clapton's, "Tears in Heaven" that they dedicated to Nikki. To this day, every time their performance comes around I think of my shy little dance star, who cherished these moments with all her heart. 

Sweet Caroline (Nikki)

I will forever be grateful to Tumble 'n Dance, and especially to April for her loyalty and determination all these years, pushing my kids to reach their full potential. She never gave up and she persuaded me to persevere through the most difficult days of my life.

                      

It has been nineteen years since they strapped on their tiny little tap shoes for the Bunny Hop. Despite the sadness associated with it, I am so happy I got them involved in this. The progress they have made is astounding and I am proud of their drive and determination. No matter how frustrated they sometimes get, they never give up and have exceeded every expectation. They continue to amaze me in every way.

Here is a slideshow of their Gynmnastic Tricks

Gymnastic

And this is a dance Bethany choreographed about five years ago.

Enjoy!

Desert Blues

Hello friends! We are so thankful to every single one of you for taking time out of your day to read about ours. We had a not so fun adventure this week I wanted to share with you all. It proves that even through difficulties God can bring forth blessings.

Tuesday morning I awoke to John telling me our water had been turned off. Luckily we had a few bottles of purified water so I could have my morning coffee, as I knew I would desperately need it this day! John called the water authority who informed him that we were two months late paying our water bill! This is highly unusual, as I always pay the bills by check within a few days of getting the invoice. Somehow we either stopped receiving the bills or they had been misplaced. We received no late notice or phone call, not even a note left by the worker who turned it off. John immediately payed the balance over the phone and explained our unique situation to the woman, how we had 17 special needs children and adults living here, three wear diapers throughout the night and need to be bathed in the morning and we now had no working toilets for so many people. The woman on the other line almost seemed amused by our predicament and responded, with a little giggle, that it "should be back on by five". 

After I'd had my coffee (you don't want to talk to me before that!) I called back to explain to her we had children just sitting in the bathtub waiting to be bathed and that we desperately needed the water. We had laundry and dirty dishes backing up, it's flu season and nobody can wash their hands or flush the toilet. I told her had we just received a phone call prior to them cutting off the water we could have quickly paid it off and avoided this catastrophe. Again, the woman seemed completely unconcerned and responded with, "We don't make courtesy calls, we'll get someone out there as soon as possible."

As soon as possible turned out to be 3:45! It was quite a trial, but we were happy to have our water back and moved on with our day. 

That morning, after fruitlessly pleading with the water authority, John had called the Mayor, who he remembered telling him a few years ago to call if we ever need anything. He didn't answer, but John left a message detailing our situation in the hopes that maybe he could help us get our water back faster. We didn't hear back from him on Tuesday and once the water was back on we didn't think much more of it. 

However, yesterday he called back and proved true to his word that he would always be there to help! He told us he had spoken with the County Commission Chairman, who in turn called the water authority. He said the Customer Service Representative for the water authority should be giving us a call. She did so, just a few minutes later and very kindly offered an apology on behalf of the water authority. She said she had looked at our account and we were excellent customers with a great record and that nothing like that should have ever happened. She informed me that she had already refunded all of the late fees and water restoration charges that had been added, and even offered to flag our account so that nothing like that would happen again! Amazing what can get done with one little phone call to a compassionate person. We are so grateful to have good people in office down here in Henry County!

Christmas Day

Christmas has always been a wonderful and challenging time of year. For weeks prior there are so many activities going on that require shopping for nice clothes, making special foods, getting everyone dressed up and trying to actually make it to the event on time, which is rarely a success! This year was an even bigger challenge because, with the economy failing and everyone having to cut back we no longer have much help buying gifts at Christmas, as we have had in the past. However I feel that this turned out to be a huge blessing this year! We were able to go online early and buy things that the kids specifically asked for and a new store opened nearby called "Five Below", where I was able to find some great gifts for $5 and under. My friend Connie gave me a $200.00 gift card for this place and it went a long way in enabling me to purchased arts and crafts and educational toys for the kids. They absolutely love anything to do with art and creativity so it was a real blessing to find these things at such reasonable prices! When the big day came they were all so thrilled with their gifts, as you can see from these photos!

We had an awesome day, my grown kids were here (all but Shawn) and I got to spend time with my three month old grandson, Liam. I made the traditional Christmas dinner; green bean casserole, sweet potato soufflé, sausage stuffing, cranberry sauce, two turkeys and one ham! Everyone helped serve and after about 45 minutes, when we were finally settled, we were able to enjoy the fruits of our labor. The kids enjoyed the meal, but what they were really waiting for came next! We passed out the presents and they each anxiously awaited their turn to open theirs. Some of them wanted portable DVD players and Nintendo DS which I was able to find online, new and used, for decent prices. Our friend Lisa sent everyone individually wrapped picture frames to paint and a bunch of art supplies, which they loved! After everything was opened and we were swimming in a sea of wrapping paper, I was finally able to relax and catch up with my visiting kids. That is until it was time to clean up!

I'd like to send out a special 'Thank you' to Eagles Landing Baptist Church for the food you donated a few days before Christmas. It really helped on the days I spent last-minute shopping to already have dinner prepared at home! Also a big thanks to People First of Henry County and Connie Dodgen for the giftcard and continued support through the years and to Susan Crumbley for the coats and pajamas you sent! 

  

This was a great Christmas and I'm thankful that God is there to provide, no matter what. We spent a lot this year and I was anxious when I went online to look at our credit card bill, as I was sure it would pack a wallop, but the end of the month came and I was shocked to see that we will still be able to make ends meet. God is good!!