Colossians 3:12
Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience.
One of the things I've been so amazed about in our family is the incredible amount of compassion and empathy I see in our children every day. They've always watched out for and gone above and beyond to care for one another. There have been many days where one of the kids will be helped or carried in by their siblings with a minor injury. The scraped elbow or knee is then lovingly cleaned and bandaged by one of the older kids, while the rest crowd around and the injured child enjoys all of the extra attention! When snack time comes they never fight over who gets their's first, in fact many of them make it a priority to ensure nobody is left out. Emily was chastised the other day for leaving the kitchen with two snacks instead of one, until we realized she was getting the second one for Jimmy, who is non-verbal and can't ask for his own. Emily decided a few years ago, completely on her own, to take Jimmy under her wing. She helps pick his clothes out after his bath, makes sure comes to the dining room when it's time to eat, even wipes his face for him when it gets dirty. She doesn't do it for any kind of reward, or attention, she just saw a need and took it upon herself to be a servant.
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| Emily helping Jimmy get his pajamas on. |
They also love to spontaneously make birthday and "feel better" cards for each other. When Nikki was with us she would make birthday hats, out of as many different colors of construction paper she could find, for everyone to wear during the birthday celebration. Usually just cake, candles, ice cream, birthday song and opening presents. Because of our hectic schedule we rarely celebrate on their actual birthday, but they don't mind and are so patient about it. They know it will happen eventually and seem to enjoy the anticipation of it almost as much. Whenever one party is over they ask "who's next??" and love reminding that person and counting down to the day.
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| One of Nikki's birthday hats. |
Many cards have been bestowed upon me over the years. Just recently, when I was sick, Cody approached me with a picture he had drawn of me, when I asked him what it was for he said, "Mommy get better". Another day, after a horrible night of insomnia, I was feeling so bad that I broke down crying in the kitchen. About fifteen minutes later Noah approached me with a card. When dad asked what it was for he said "Mom cried". This reminded me of another card Noah had given me, back in June, when my Dad was in hospice. It had a picture of Grandad on one side with flowers, a cross and a rainbow. There on the other side he drew Jon Boy and Nikki. He said it was a picture of them all in heaven. I broke down when I saw it, but Noah was right, and my Dad went to be with them soon after. They can always sense when I am having a rough day and will try anything they can to make it a little bit brighter.
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| Cody waiting patiently on the porch for Amy to get home so he can give her the birthday card he made. |
I remember when Jonathan was sick and people would fawn over him and give him extra attention because of his Cancer and dynamic personality. JonBoy would smile brightly up at them and start deferring attention to his brothers and sisters, pointing them out one by one, "There's Amy" and "There's Jimmy". He would even be sure to spread the love to his favorite Winnie the Pooh toys, which he always had piled around him. He had such a beautiful and loving spirit. When he lost his battle with Leukemia I was a wreck. Evenings were the worst, and whenever I would break down Nikki would come curl up on my lap and hug me. She'd turn back to her concerned siblings and explain, "Mom cry. JonBoy died."
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| JonBoy shares stories of the Hundred Acre Wood with Emily |
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| Joshua surrounds his little brother with his best friends. |
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| Showing off Tigger. |
I know they don't completely comprehend what death means, just that someone went away and won't be coming back. Just a few days ago I got a call from an old friend I hadn't spoken to in a long time. Her name is Nicky, we actually named our Nikki after her. Cody heard me greet her when I picked up the phone "Hi Nicky!" He then excitedly turned to Bethany and said, "Mom talk to Nikki!" When Bethany didn't understand, he said "Mom talk to Nikki and JonBoy!" They are always so happy and seem to not have a care in the world most days, then moments like this catch me off guard and I wonder how much the grief of losing Nikki and Jonathan truly affected them, how it continues to affect them.
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| Hair braiding time. |
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| Our little mommy. |
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| Nikki loved being a helper. |
All children, special needs or not, have the ability to love, care for and empathize with others. We try to teach our children these traits through example and with high expectations and consistency. I have come to realize over the years that the children we adopted at birth display these characteristics much more than those we adopted at an older age. We believe the first few years of a child's life are so important for building a strong and healthy character, and that the golden rule "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" is not beyond anyone's comprehension.
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| Welcoming Jonboy home from the hospital. |
I want to send out a huge "Thank You" to those of you who got through all of this, it was supposed to be a "short piece" and I may have gotten a little carried away! I just love having this platform from which I can share our stories. I am thankful to each and every one of you who "liked" our Facebook page and are willing to take a few minutes of your day to read our posts. If anyone has any questions or blog suggestions, we'd love to hear them. Please feel free to comment here, or on our Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/28Blessings.
